What's Too Much?

What’s Too Much?
by Sandy Kastel

People say I do too much. What's too much? I always seem to be working on a variety of activities at the same time. I find myself going back and forth between them and the energy from one will often fuel the other.

The same people wonder how I’ve been able to accomplish so much in my lifetime. I feel one of the main reasons for this is that I allow myself the freedom to be open to explore the possibilities without limiting myself, which makes it possible for me to bring several projects to completion within a similar period of time.

Also, I love learning. Give me a class in something; anything. Well, almost anything.

I've studied body therapies like massage, reiki, shiatsu, Alexander Technique and Feldenkrais; studied psychology, human behavior and the relationship between astrology and the human psyche; studied the use of the English language and foreign languages.

I’ve explored the use of symbols in dreams, inner work and self-help books; learned about meditation, IChing, runes and tarot cards; been boating, canoeing, kayaking and sailing; gone skiing, played tennis, raquetball and golf; studied various forms of dance such as ballet, tap, modern and jazz.

I've taken classes in fine arts, drawing, painting, mixed media and sculpture; been in acting classes, musical theater, television commercial and film study groups; learned juggling, sword-fighting and archery, breathing techniques, tai-chi, chi-gong, yoga and Pilates.

I've written poetry, songs, plays, articles and books; learned word processing, graphics, recording and film editing programs; attended modeling schools, publishing seminars, design schools, jewelry making classes, learned clothing design, home decorating, interior design and designed architectural elements for homes.

I'm a daughter, a sister, a wife and a friend. I've been a singer, an actress, a dancer, a model and a beauty contestant, a salesgirl, a photographer, a receptionist and a secretary, a student, a teacher and a mentor, an artist, a sculptor and a clothing designer, a musician, a songwriter and an author, a director, a producer and a playwright.

Many of the skills I've learned have become integrated into my work. Others add only a touch of flavor to my vast canvas, the subtle textures undetectable by the inexperienced eye.

I wonder who will pick up on the complexity of who we are as individuals when all is said and done and we have turned to dust at the end of our run. Will there be anyone out there who notices the quality of details that went into the making of who we have become and what we leave behind in the world?

Will there be a movie about me; or a book written to analyze my contribution to the world? Will anyone notice when I am gone? Will it matter that I learned what I did and cared enough to put my all into my work? Will it make a difference to anyone but me? Will anyone care then - that I did too much?